19th Century Euphemisms for Masturbation

1. Addressing Lord Palmer
2. Square Dancing with Satan
3. Churning the Codpiece Butter
4. Delivering the Ejaculation Proclamation
5. Driving the Golden Spike
6. Monitoring your Merrimac
7. Quashing the Southern Uprising
8. Cleaning the Musket
9. Assaulting the Tower of London
10. Oiling the Pennywhistle
11. Trying for a Scarlet "M"
12. Waving to Queen Victoria
13. Dragging Thyself to Hell, One Hand's Breadth at a Time
14. Signing your John Hancock
15. Pocket Punch 'n' Judy
16. Emptyin' the Saloon